Anyone who knows me will call me an extrovert the moment they meet me, but recently I have realized how much of an introvert I really am. In the past, I have sometimes looked at being an introvert as a bad thing, without realizing that I really do need time alone to regroup. Often when I think about time to be alone, clear my head and recharge it can get put in the category of “Self Care.” But I have been wondering lately…is self care, in the context of our generation really a good thing? As a true Millennial, the term “Treat
yourself” easily can come up multiple times a week as an excuse to get a coffee you don’t really need, get your nails done or have another scoop of ice cream. As we know throughout His life, Jesus talked about many topics and examples on how to serve Him.
Even in our individualistic world, my goal is to focus more on not treating myself, but others. As a partial introvert, time alone is needed, but I am trying
to find the balance between time alone and what time is selfish to be by myself.
I love to work out and being at the gym is one of my favorite things. But I only
like to work out alone, doing things on my time and watching myself progress. As many of you know this past year and a half has been hard with my health.
Last spring I was well enough to be able to finally work out again so I did. I was at the
gym almost two hours everyday. I was saying “no” to time with friends, chapel, doing
homework and taking time to rest to be at the gym. My day was often centered around
being able to go the to gym. This for me was selfish “Self Care”. I was focusing so
much more on my body and achievements that I was steering away from opportunities to
grow in relationship with others. It is easy for me to say no to social gatherings if I don’t
feel like it at the moment, and that is where my pride comes in and I need to think
more like Jesus. I’m not sure Jesus always wanted to be dining with people He didn’t
know or walking for days on end to purse His Father’s will, but He did. We never hear
Jesus complaining either. Jesus spent hours alone with the Father to regroup and
center His focus. I just want to focus on making a clear difference between my alone time
and selfish time alone.
My challenge is to think about others before saying no. Realizing that we are not
called to do life alone but in a balanced community. Also, the people that God has placed
around us are there for a reason. The best memories are made when we are in community.
It’s easy to get consumed with Netflix, what’s on your phone or honestly, even just
working ahead on homework to feel better. I am trying to put my life in perspective,
intentionally taking time to be with my friends who are physically with me and less time
alone for selfish reasons.
These are just a few things that have been on my mind lately. I’m trying to better
understand who I am, in order to love God better.